Friday, April 3, 2009

Crazy Dreamin'

So…I don’t know how often it happens to you, but it seems that I have crazy weird dreams pretty frequently. My "psychedelic" dreams, like most I imagine, are generally brought on by an overly robust late-night snack or school stress, but regardless of the motive, they are always so "out there" and full of the most random things! Most of the time when I wake up after a weird dream I can only vaguely recall having a weird dream and the details are just a fuzzy blur of insanity. But the other day I woke up and could remember every single silly detail, so I felt obliged to share it with someone. Hopefully you think it’s as weird and funny as I did.

Before delving into my dream a little background information is necessary. In one of my classes, Biotransport Processes, our grades are calculated from only 9-10 graded assignments consisting of quizzes, lab reports, and homeworks. Each of these assignments carries the same weight, so it’s important to not mess up on these assignments. Every other week we have a quiz on the material that we covered during the previous 2-week period. The instructor of this class has one important rule: DO NOT MISS CLASS ON QUIZ DAY! We only have 15 minutes on quiz days to complete the quiz and if we are not present than we receive a big fat ZERO for a grade, with absolutely no chance to replace this grade. There is a Final Exam that is offered at the end of the semester that can replace up to 3 of our lowest quiz grades, but a ZERO cannot be replaced no matter what!

Onto the dream…
It was just another normal Monday morning and as usual I was on my way into the city for my Biotransport class. I thought that I had left the house with plenty of time to spare, but then all of a sudden I looked down at the clock and I noticed that I was already late for class! So I continued on with new motivation to quicken my pace. I couldn’t be late for my quiz and afford taking a zero! I raced down the narrow and pot-hole-ridden streets of Richmond in search of a free parking spot. I was already 10 minutes late! Finally I found a vacant parking spot on the sidewalk and decided that I’d risk the parking ticket so that I could at least try and start my quiz. I was now 13 minutes late. As I entered the classroom, my instructor (who is also the Department of the Biomedical Engineering Department at VCU) stared at me and said in his nasally voice, "Well, look who decided to finally show up." I tried to apologize as I sat in my normal chair, but he wasn’t listening. He just put two pizza boxes in front of me and then handed me the quiz. I was, well…confused to say the least! Why was he giving me two boxes of pizza? I opened one up and saw a hot pepperoni pizza inside. I was tempted to take a slice out and start eating, but I thought better of it deciding that it was a "clever ploy" by my professor to distract me from starting on my quiz. So I looked down at my quiz and read the first question: "Which restaurant recently won an award for its clean eating conditions?" A) IHOP B) The Waffle House.

Yes I know that this is a very random question to have on a college exam, but that’s was it was.

I recalled hearing over the radio during my morning commute The Waffle House had just won such an award. So I was inclined to circle choice B. But, then my common sense kicked in and I remembered that just a few days ago I had eaten at a Waffle House (which I really had done only a few days before) and it was still one of the most disgustingly gross places to eat! I was torn between following my common sense or just circling an answer. So there I sat, stumped as to what the correct answer could possibly be. Then as I closed my eyes and was about to blindly circle which ever answer my pencil landed on, my professor called time and quickly came and took my paper away.
"Well," I said "it looks like I’ll be taking the final exam to make this one up."

My professor looked at me as if I was speaking Chinese. "What are you talking about?" he asked. "You know that you can’t possibly make this grade up."

Now I was the one who was confused! "What do you mean?" I replied with a hint of anger in my voice. "I was here for the quiz…well, sort of…and so I’ll just take the final exam and replace that grade with the abysmal one that I will get on this quiz."

He looked at me, then my paper, and then at me again! "This," he said pointing at my paper "is a ZERO! You haven’t written anything. In fact you didn’t even write your name, so as far as I’m concerned you weren’t even here for class today." I looked at my paper in disbelief. He was right. I hadn’t written a single word on my paper, and it was certain that I would be getting a zero on the assignment. I tried to argue the unfairness of the situation, but my mouth couldn’t form any audible sound. And so my professor walked off laughing and leaving me to my two boxes of pizzas.

This is the point where I sat straight up in my bed in a cold sweat! For a second I wondered if what I had dreamed really had happened! I looked over at my alarm clock and even though I originally wasn’t going to wake up for another half an hour, I decided that I was going to get up right away and not risk arriving late to school!


ahlmers said...

That is a crazy dream!! You know for a few years after I finished school I would have dreams where I would miss the final exam and end up not graduating. Those are the worst and you have to talk yourself down from those. Totoally understand you here. =)

Angie said...

Oh I love how you write!! Second of all funny dream, pizza? Okay now you have to You Tube Jim Gaffigan- King Baby. He does a funny bit on Waffle House. He is just dang funny you will get a sideache. Maybe you had that dream so you would not be late hahah.